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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a sudden shock.

A close companion of 10 years, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a short while, but it strains our friendship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, she says, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. Another annoyance is because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but Marielle is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a surprise: I’ll have bare-faced, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inopportune moments. Sometimes I’ll be talking to another person, or we're simply hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me being her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I spend helping her make content.

I’m grateful that she has helped me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that makes us look good for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and record me laughing with another. It feels forced. I need her to recognize that our 10-year friendship still has limits. I love spending time with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Other Side: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the creations we make together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about creating videos. It's more than a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and documenting experiences online enables me to show my personality and engage with people in novel forms.

I don’t see myself as a full influencer yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I admire people on TikTok who pull off that aesthetic of casual, DIY content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the details, sharing them with an audience that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uneasy. Bringing her to industry events was my method of sharing opportunities, giving her a opportunity to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her career in design too. That’s not blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can achieve: an opening. I know not everyone likes being filmed, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes material authentic. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal videographer, but companions support one another in small ways. I thought filming a clip now and then would be enjoyable for Beth. Creativity flourishes in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects lively and pleasurable. I don't compel her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and want to avoid making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before recording, and avoiding shots that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly content creation is not a substitute for genuine friendship: it's merely part of how I live my life and I desire her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

There’s nothing more uncomfortable than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I wouldn't ask friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the dark, looming future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – cherish them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have helped previously. While she enjoys shooting, that doesn't imply all those around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy making content and showing off her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Foster some authentic memories, where true emotions are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it appears.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to what’s reasonable. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined boundaries around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?